Horse Training 101: First Do Nothing Explained

How can you train a horse by doing nothing? Stay with me here, I'll explain what I have in mind. Just remember, there is great power, even revolutionary transformation, in doing nothing. I feel like this is a Horse Training 101 tool that every horseman/horsewoman needs to know.

We go out to work with or ride our horse with all these expectations, all these intentions, and oftentimes we are setting not only ourselves, but the horse, up for failure by doing so.

I am very guilty of this. I spent years wanting this or that from my horses. I watched other people doing things with their horses that I wanted to do with mine. I would get that image in my head and go out with that intention. Frequently, I would leave in frustration, and often guilt for getting frustrated with my horse. There is not a horseman/horsewoman alive that hasn't done this so let me just say now, forgive yourself. Holding onto that guilt doesn't help you or the horse. Know better, do better.

Step 1 of Horse Training 101

I don't care if you've owned your horse for 1 day or 20 years, pay attention to their worries. Watch their behaviors from the moment they notice you coming. And what, if anything, do you have on your person when you are coming? Because they may not only be reacting to you, but what you are wearing or carrying. Here are some examples and things to think about:

• Are you carrying a halter and lead rope? A bridle and reins? Saddle pad and saddle?
• Are you carrying a feed bucket?
• Do they come to you with curiosity, intensity, relaxation?
• Do they come to you at all?
• Do they turn their head briefly or turn around completely?
• What are their eyes and ears doing?
• Do you have carrots, treats/cookies, or something else with a unique smell in your pocket?

Try experimenting to see how they respond with different items, or nothing at all. The best way to start is really with nothing at all. This gets you your baseline. Then you can add other items to check their responses.

Step 2. Why “Doing Nothing” is Hard

The next step is not to analyze the horse, but to analyze YOU. What are you bringing with you to the barn/pasture?

Are you bringing those expectations I mentioned earlier? Are you coming with a hard and fast goal that simply “must” or “should” be done that day? The “shoulds” are tremendous guilt and frustration inducers.

The other aspect to consider is just how much “DO-ing” or “should be doing” is pushed in our respective lives. Whether it's the horse community, society at large, or even trauma we may have experienced that is contributing. For instance, in my experience, I watched my mother unable to leave unhappy, and even abusive, marriages because she couldn't afford to do so. This led to a strong drive for me to succeed, to DO, for many, many years so that “I would never be in that situation.”

The horse community is a strong pusher of “DO.” Whether it is competition, training, riding, taking care of your horse's health, or what you're feeding them, there is an undercurrent of “DO” that runs like a constantly flowing, and occasionally whitewater, river through the horse community at large.

While I can't speak for countries other than the United States, the society here is very much a “should be doing this or that” one.

When you are analyzing yourself, and any resistance you feel to “doing nothing”, ask yourself where that resistance is originating? How can you let go of the pressure it is putting on you AND your horse?

Step 3 of Horse Training 101: Deep Breaths

One of the greatest tools you have at your disposal for eliminating resistance and pressure in yourself and your horse is to take a deep breath and let it out. Every time you are feeling frustration, anxiety, resistance, fear, or even anger, you always, always have the option of taking a deep breath and letting it out. This provides a reset not only to your nervous system, but also to that of your horse's.

If a deep breath isn't enough, maybe walk away and sit down. There is something about sitting down that changes our energy. We relax. As soon as we relax, so does the horse.

Step 4 of Horse Training 101: Work Backwards

The reason I suggested you start watching your horse as soon it knows you are there is to detect when and where they start getting nervous. You might be surprised about where you start seeing the signs. Despite halters being such an everyday part of life, many horses have fear associated with them. Wherever you start seeing signs of fear in your horse, take a step back and start training from where they weren't showing any signs. This tool helped me to figure out that one of my horses became nervous when I stepped to his side. He was not comfortable with me at his side.

If you are having trouble figuring it out in the moment, set up your phone or camera and video yourself with the horse. I figured out one of my horses was bored from watching a training video I did with him. Sometimes we have to watch as an observer because we miss things being in the moment with them.

Step 5 of Horse Training 101: Do Nothing

Once you have figured out where your horse becomes nervous, take however much time you need and “do nothing” in those first moments of fear. For instance, when I determined my horse was really anxious about my being on his side, I got a really, really long lead rope and I calmly stood where he first started getting anxious. If he moved, I moved with him and just to the very edge of where he could tolerate. And then I just stood there, doing nothing at all.

I didn't look at him directly, I even turned my back to him at times, and I just did nothing. I did this until he relaxed. And it sometimes took awhile! I had to do this several days, sometimes with a day or two in between sessions, before he finally realized that someone being on his side was not a threat. I have no idea where the fear came from. He came to me with it and I hadn't made the connection until I started working my way backwards. He exhibited fear of and frustration with lunging and wouldn't lead next to me, only behind me.

But I couldn't see the issue for so long because all I could “see” was my expectation that “he needs to lunge” or “he needs to walk beside me.”

Step 6 Enjoy the Fruits of Doing Nothing

Doing nothing as a tool for horse training is one of the most powerful tools you will have in your training toolbox. Don't underestimate it. It enables you to move forward with less frustration, less fear, less disappointment for you and your horse. Doesn't that sound ideal?

You might even do a happy dance when you surpass a significant fear! I may or may not have done this when I got my horse comfortable with my standing next to him!

I would love to hear examples of when you have “done nothing” with a great outcome with your horse or horses!

And if you'd like to have me work directly with you and your horse(s), just reach out to me via my Contact page!

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Are There Dangers of Using Horses as Therapy?

It seems odd to say that there are dangers of using horses as therapy doesn't it? But when I say this, I'm not referring to hippotherapy, the widely successful type of riding therapy used for people with disabilities.

I'm referring to the many people who are drawn to horses because of the peace that they bring. I'm referring to the people who have experienced trauma, abuse, or neglect and find themselves drawn to the magic of horses.

My Experience with Dysfunction in the Horse Community

After a 20 year hiatus from horses, I found myself dropped back into the horse community like debris is sucked into a tornado. One minute I wasn't even thinking about horses and the next I owned a Dutch Warmblood gelding that everyone in the Austin-area horse community knew, and nobody wanted. (That's him above in the photo.)

As I excitedly prepared myself for horse ownership again, I moved my horse to a local boarding barn. Unbeknownst to me, the owner of that boarding barn was an alcoholic and prescription drug addict. After a month of her unpredictability and instability, I found another boarding barn.

I moved my horse there and thought I had found the right place. And for over a year, it went pretty well. But then the owner of that barn separated from her husband and started going through a divorce. She began to severely neglect the 15+ horses in her care, including mine. I discovered that she had a track record of doing this when undergoing personal challenge.

The Drama Continues

By this time I had 3 horses (you really can't have just one.) I found an individual that agreed to let me bring them to her place for boarding. I should have known when she told me “Some people call me a bitch” that I might be in trouble. However, I am really easy going and as she was a friend of a friend, I thought it would be ok.

That individual casually asked me one day after a month or two, if I would sell one of my horses to her. I declined. It was the Dutch Warmblood, that I had turned around, and suddenly he was wanted. But he was my heart horse and I was never letting him go.

I didn't know it then but telling her no was apparently not something she was accustomed to. She proceeded to make things as difficult for me as possible. This included trying to hold my horses hostage when I found yet another boarding barn to move them to.

At the next place, just one month after I moved my horses there, the barn manager was discovered to be a meth addict and was captured on video drugging horses. After he was escorted off the property by law enforcement, I was told that the agreement he and I had for care of my horses was no longer valid. Surprisingly, he had taken great care of MY horses to that point.

My horses would no longer be cared for in the same way however. They began to lose weight and two of them got rain rot, a skin condition often related to poor nutrition. I had hundreds of dollars of tack stolen after that as well, and the deposit I had paid to the original barn manager was never returned.

I decided I was done with boarding. Via a friend of a friend, I was lucky enough to find some land to lease less than 10 minutes away from my house. A friend helped me move my horses there and I have been taking care of them myself ever since.

Therapists Need Therapy

I was shocked at the dysfunction and drama I had experienced. I had always worked in professional fields where community and support of each other was the rule rather than the exception. It baffled me that the horse community was, in my experience to that point, selfish and unstable.

I remarked to a friend one day that it reminded me of therapists who become therapists because they need or needed therapy themselves. I said, “People find horses so therapeutic, except that some of them never get the true therapy they need.”

Years have gone by and I have mostly stayed to myself with regards to the in-person horse community. I have cultivated a small group of horse owning friends, as well as a faithful online following, of those who think the same way that I do about horses. That is, that horses are valuable, cognizant, and worthy of being treated well, no matter what is going on with us as individuals.

Having participated in numerous horse groups of all kinds on Facebook though, I see that the drama and dysfunction of the horse community is alive and well. The vehemence with which people are quick to judge, lash out, and condemn will give you whiplash.

Last year I attended a trail riding competition as a visitor. I was reminded once again of the reasons I have stayed to myself as I listened to complaining, judgement and disdain in the voices of many around me. All of this brings me back to my original thought.

Dangers of Using Horses as Therapy

There ARE dangers of using horses as therapy. They come if you are not in fact working on yourself too. Because not only does the horse lose, but the entire horse community loses as well.

The danger of using horses as therapy lies in being completely unaware that you are doing so. I think people are drawn to horses for their beauty, air of freedom, and more. Ultimately, horses have this seemingly magical ability to bring deep peace to those around them. And I don't think most are aware of the horse's immense ability to do so, or even that it may be the reason why they are drawn to them.

It simply mystifies me still that with all of that magic, there are so many unhappy, judgmental, and critical horse owners. There is so much peace available to access.

Finding Peace with Horses

One of the keys to finding your peace is to make time to experience the magic of horses.

Examples could include:

• Don't just run in, saddle up your horse, exercise/ride them, and put them up. Get to know them.
• Observe them with other horses if possible. Spend time with them grazing.
• What kind of behavior do they have when they eat their feed?
• Where are they tight in their body? What relaxes that tightness?
• Read horse behavior and training books.
• Study horse anatomy, and why and how they move the way they move.
• Learn to trim their hooves yourself.
• Only have as many horses as you can do this with regularly. (This primarily applies to individuals who own horses for personal use.) I've been guilty of having more horses than I really needed, but in this case, quality is more important than quantity.
• Have a Horse Magic session with me and my horses and let me show you what horses are truly capable of.
• No matter your regular discipline or choice of activity, take some dressage lessons. Your relationship with your horse will improve.

You have this incredible being that you have the good fortune to share your life with. Treating them solely as a tool is a disservice to both you and them.

Know Yourself

While you get to know them, get to know yourself. Each person's challenges are different but here are a few suggestions:

• Evaluate your responses to your horses every time you think about it. Are you patient/impatient, angry/happy, happy/grieving, informed/need more info.?
• After you evaluate your emotions, consider how the horse responds to you. In many cases, the horse is responding not to its own emotions or body, but to yours. For horses that you spend a lot of time with, they may even be mirroring something happening in your body. It might be emotions, limiting beliefs, or even pain or a physical condition.
• If you are responding from a place of trauma, emotional pain, grief, etc. just tell the horse what is wrong. Say it out loud. Horses generally just want us to tell the truth about what we are feeling. In some cases, it may be better to walk away from the horse. You have to make that judgment call. But more times than not, the horse will relax once you've expressed what you are feeling. And that's where the peace comes in for both of you.
• If you realize that there are dangers of using horses as therapy and it is more than you or they can process, find a good therapist. (I'm not suggesting anything I haven't done myself. I have seen therapists more than once in my life.)
• Don't give up on yourself.

These are just a few ideas for your horses and yourself. You may have to modify according to your situation.

Horse Community

Lastly I want to circle back to the horse community as a whole. If you do these things, or others, for your horse(s) and you, you will begin to see that many other horses owners have issues they struggle with too. As I said, many of us come to horses for the peace that they bring. When you understand that others are struggling, you will see that kindness and compassion will take you farther than judgement and criticism.

You will see that even in competition, you can be supportive and understanding. Boundaries can always be set with those that need them, but lead with kindness. The horse community needs as much of it as it can get, both the people and the horses.

In Closing

I close by saying that I KNOW there is a lot of goodness in the horse world too. I know because of the friends I've made and the resources I have found. But the drama IS prevalent in the horse community.

I know one article isn't going to change the horse community overnight, but this topic has weighed on me for years and I just felt like it was time to speak up. If it resonates with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts or have you share it with others that might enjoy it too.

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All you need to know about horses is actually far more simple than you might expect. As a species, we often make things more complicated than they have to be.

For over a decade, I have been teaching people to trust their intuition. When I first began learning these things myself, I read lots of books, attended classes, and followed people on social media. And what I began to realize is that the experts who touted THEIR system and their way of doing things as being THE thing, were not ones I wanted to follow.

I would try their way and it didn't work for me. It made me doubt myself. Was I doing it wrong?

Follow Your Own Path

What I learned was I was not in fact doing it wrong at all. In fact, the more I did what worked for me, the stronger my intuition became.

When I got back into horses years ago, I did some of the same things. I read books, I attended classes, and I followed horse trainers on social media. I gained some great knowledge, about both what to do and what NOT to do. And I came to the same realization, the experts who had “systems” that had to be followed, that put themselves on a pedestal, that said “if you're not doing it my way, you're doing it wrong” threatened to lead me down the manure pile of doubt.

I've had stallions, geldings and mares. I've had short horses and very, very tall horses. I've had the youngest of horses to seniors. Every one of them has taught me something.

My Connection with Horses

Scout, my Dutch Warmblood gelding, who was my soulmate in horse form, taught me more things than I could possibly detail in one article. I think more than anything, he taught me that I had an innate gift with horses that I needed to believe in. From the moment I met him, we were connected. I hadn't owned a horse in 20+ years. And there was no denying that this horse, that was labeled as too dangerous to ride, and that numerous people told me not to take, was meant to be with me. I cried, I laughed, I got angry and more than anything, I loved for the short 4 years he was with me before he asked me to help him cross the Rainbow Bridge.

Every single person that saw us together, whether stranger or friend, commented on our obvious connection. Because of him, I trusted in that connection.

As other horses made their way to me, I used that trust in my connection to bond with and train them as well. Shut down horses, angry horses, crazy thin horses, overweight horses, feral horses, aggressive horses, horses in pain, and traumatized horses. I took them all in and learned from them.

The Lessons You Don't Expect

The other horse who has taught me more than I could ever detail in one article is one of my current horses, Ankh. (pronounced onk) He was just the opposite of Scout when he came to me. He had no use for people and was pretty angry a lot of the time. But he had a curiosity and playfulness at times that sucked me in. I've had multiple people tell me to sell him. I've come really close, I don't deny it, but recently I've figured out he's been trying to tell me something for a long time and I just had a very difficult time interpreting his message.

What he has taught me the most about is the importance of herd dynamics and how critical that dynamic can be to either support or break down the well-being of the horses within that herd. And sometimes that can come into play with them on the same property together, not even pastured together.

All of these horses that came to me began to heal. Some of them healed to the point of being able to go to other homes. Some could only heal so much and needed me to release them from this world. And some have stayed with me.

Training People to Train Horses

As I began to expand the work I did with my horses into working with horses owned by others, I saw that there was a great desire for people to develop that same kind of connection with their horses that I had developed with mine.

“I just want to have a better connection with them.” “I want to know if they are happy with me.” “I wish they could talk.” These are things I hear frequently.

And I used the “All You Need to Know About Horses” theory of mine coupled with neuroscience, horse behavior, and all of my experience with intuition/energy and horses to guide them. Because if you have that knowledge, you will have a better connection, you won't wonder if they are happy and you'll find yourself having conversations with them.

While a few of them raised their eyebrows at me, the vast majority were all in and discovered just how powerful and effective it was. Most importantly, they discovered just how powerful and effective THEY were.

The relationships with their horses vastly improved. But more than anything they felt more confident in themselves. Confidence begets confidence.

My Inspiration and Answer

I've been helping other horses as I'm asked by referral only, but due to a recent incident that occurred with a horse that I sold, I've decided to expand more on my training philosophies as I feel that if even one person gains something that can help their relationship with their horse, then it will make a difference.

So, all you need to know about horses is this:

Do what works for YOU and YOUR horse. Do what feels right to YOU.

Listen to your horse, not just a little, a LOT.

What I immediately hear from some of you as I type that is “I don't know what to do!”

Here are a few things you can do to start:

• Spend more time on the ground with them than you do in the saddle. I'm not saying forever, but the more you get to truly know your horse, the better the connection. There is no way to get to know them better than being on the ground with them. Walking around in the arena, the pasture, the paddock, reading a book while they are grazing, touching them if they like to be touched, just BE-ing together.
• Observe their behavior with you and with other horses. Pay attention to the smallest of behaviors. What way do they turn their head in certain situations? How are they “talking” to other horses with their behavior? How are they talking to you? The same? Different?
• Pay attention to your own energy each time you are with them. Are you tense? Are you frustrated? At peace? Feeling happy? How do they respond in kind? Horses are less likely to have a negative response to you as long as you are honest about the feelings. Don't hide your emotions. Whatever you are feeling, honor it, for yourself and them. If you're having trouble managing your emotions while training, read my article 7 Tips to Manage Emotions While Horse Training.
• Read some books. Take what feels right, what works, but leave what doesn't.
• Remember that the best expert on your horse is YOU. Experts can guide you, they can give you expertise from their perspective and knowledge, but they are not there with you and your horse day in and day out. If any expert makes you doubt your own expertise, run away. I will always ask you instead, “What feels right to you?”
• Come back and read more of my articles or follow me on Facebook (or both.) I'll be posting more and more about my training style and tips. You can take what works for you and your horse and leave what doesn't. I will never give you absolutes.

There you have it, all you need to know about horses is to trust your intuition and do what works for you and your horse. Remember you are the expert. I'm the expert on my horses and I'm still learning every single day. So, I'm no better than you are. I'm just here to remind you of your awesome expertness!

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