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I'm not sure it can be measured.  The joy that is, that comes from being chosen by a horse over a horse friend.  Especially when that horse has done everything in her power to stay away from humans for years, and only spend time with other horses.  Especially when the human she chooses has had another anxious horse in her recent past that almost never chose her over his horse friends.  

I'm that human.  My name is Julie Bradshaw if somehow you have found me and don't know me.  Magic is the Peruvian Paso Fino mare that chose me, just 2 1/2 weeks after coming to live with me.  She came to live with me because her previous owner hadn't been able to lay a hand on her in almost 2 years.  When I met her, she was letting me pet her in 45 minutes.  

A week and a day after she came to live with me, I let my soulmate in horse form move on from this life.  His name was Scout.  He also came to me very anxious and while I was able to help him some, he had a brain issue that prohibited him from ever getting better.  The biggest issue was that if separated, or if he even thought he was going to be separated, from his chosen horse friend, he went into instant panic mode.  I tried so many things to try and free him from this prison he was in, but nothing worked.  I ached to be chosen by him over his horse friends.  Just once.  But it wasn't meant to be.  

Just two days after Scout crossed over, I was kicked by my other horse, Ankh.  He broke my clavicle, fractured two ribs and collapsed a lung.  And he busted Magic out of the paddock I had her in to try and gentle her.  (You can see the progress on my YouTube channel of Days 1-9.) For the next ten days or so, other people had to care for my horses for me.  So, when I finally got back to them, I was worried I had lost all the ground I had gained with Magic.  And I worried that trying to gentle her outside of a smaller area just wouldn't be effective. 

After just a few days of my being the only one to care for the horses again, Magic was back to trusting me enough to eat from my hands or the feed bucket and let me touch her face and forelock.  I had gotten the two horses separated into two pastures so that each would be more manageable.  I then moved Ankh into a different pasture one morning to create even more space between the two.  That morning while we were eating, I told her, “When you choose to interact with me without food in my hands, I'll know we have crossed a line.”  I also talked to Scout and asked him to tell her that I was safe and could be trusted. 

That afternoon, I watched as Magic walked out towards Ankh after she finished eating.  I decided to walk out there just to watch their interaction.  But I was shocked when Magic turned towards me when she saw me coming out.  I wondered if she was watching me because she was scared. But that was not the case at all.  It seems she was choosing me to spend time with rather than Ankh.  And my heart melted.  

Because she chose me.  She chose me over a horse friend when her history clearly showed she staunchly preferred horses to humans.  And not just any horse friend, a stallion horse friend that she had spent 10 days with.  She chose me when I didn't have any feed in my hands. She chose me to nap with.  She chose me and I cried, because I had always ached to get that ONE thing from Scout and I never got it.  Not in the way I wanted.  But she (and I think he had a part in it) gave it to me this day.